If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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