Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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