Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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