she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize