I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It's never too late to be topless.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
God I need to hump something, right now.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
