I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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