I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
