Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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