girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
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Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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