walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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