Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
