Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
whose ass print is on the piano?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
