She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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