Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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