the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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