I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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