Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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