I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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