You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
