mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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