Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
