you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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