apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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