I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
This baby is an asshole
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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