Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
she looked like the before picture.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
