K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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