then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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