Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
