3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
