I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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