We got so high we made milksteak
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I got inside last night via doggy door
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
