it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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