I got chris browned last night
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize