you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
