Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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