It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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