so that wasnt chicken after all
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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