Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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