im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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