ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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