we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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