I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
