omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
