Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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