yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
