i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
