i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
