is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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