First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
smell my finger.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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