Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'

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  (650): oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole' http://tfl.nu/gd5q
  Replies (5) Good night (995) Bad night (553)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.

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  (480): Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that. http://tfl.nu/wbxh
  Replies (13) Good night (4618) Bad night (971)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.

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  (419): Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name. http://tfl.nu/pkap
  Replies (6) Good night (3648) Bad night (587)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.

  (1-585): View more from New York

  You are so irish.

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  (585): I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better. (1-585): You are so irish. http://tfl.nu/pewr
  Replies (19) Good night (7030) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup

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  (203): You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup http://tfl.nu/qk1q
  Replies (12) Good night (4227) Bad night (1773)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.

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  (904): HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. http://tfl.nu/mng5
  Replies (9) Good night (2519) Bad night (929)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.

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  (540): If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year. http://tfl.nu/169q
  Replies (9) Good night (2847) Bad night (829)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.

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  (612): I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket. http://tfl.nu/c7zs
  Replies (5) Good night (1453) Bad night (1392)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.

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  (617): Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory. http://tfl.nu/p9v1
  Replies (11) Good night (1995) Bad night (1001)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.

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  (801): The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting. http://tfl.nu/bouz
  Replies (3) Good night (944) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious

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  (870): Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious http://tfl.nu/hhr4
  Replies (9) Good night (2088) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah

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  (650): I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah http://tfl.nu/mkjf
  Replies (3) Good night (330) Bad night (196)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?

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  (734): I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening? http://tfl.nu/odfb
  Replies (8) Good night (391) Bad night (805)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.

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  (310): See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight. http://tfl.nu/dy9g
  Replies (2) Good night (460) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas

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  (604): he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas http://tfl.nu/s6lv
  Replies (0) Good night (256) Bad night (347)

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