one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Dating After Heartbreak
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just want to make out with him forever
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?