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• (480): View more from Arizona

  oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  what time did you get home last night?

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.

  (1-623): View more from Arizona

  Where are you?

  (623): View more from Arizona

  A place I should not be.

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• (310): View more from California

  Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.

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• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me

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• (818): View more from California

  I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one

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• (713): View more from Texas

  I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved

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