Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was

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  (310): The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was http://tfl.nu/84hp
  Replies (3) Good night (2448) Bad night (669)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true

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  (719): Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true http://tfl.nu/xhyv
  Replies (20) Good night (4781) Bad night (750)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!

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  (631): Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade! http://tfl.nu/mpw5
  Replies (30) Good night (749) Bad night (3725)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.

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  (203): The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately. http://tfl.nu/h16j
  Replies (11) Good night (5747) Bad night (990)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.

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  (410): Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem. http://tfl.nu/4xkw
  Replies (34) Good night (885) Bad night (7232)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.

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  (865): Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off. http://tfl.nu/a9zf
  Replies (17) Good night (4200) Bad night (904)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.

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  (605): We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone. http://tfl.nu/46r1
  Replies (5) Good night (2736) Bad night (717)
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  (516): View more from New York

  If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles

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  (516): If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles http://tfl.nu/okmw
  Replies (4) Good night (1589) Bad night (1143)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob

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  (740): no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob http://tfl.nu/6ivp
  Replies (5) Good night (2189) Bad night (712)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle

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  (630): I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle http://tfl.nu/8rh4
  Replies (4) Good night (1735) Bad night (523)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...

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  (214): Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable... http://tfl.nu/uugd
  Replies (3) Good night (1312) Bad night (870)
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  (315): View more from New York

  at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing

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  (315): at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing http://tfl.nu/t14u
  Replies (3) Good night (860) Bad night (553)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.

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  (206): If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever. http://tfl.nu/y5vi
  Replies (1) Good night (576) Bad night (243)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.

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  (301): Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply. http://tfl.nu/tohw
  Replies (0) Good night (712) Bad night (286)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.

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  (781): MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS. http://tfl.nu/2ps2
  Replies (2) Good night (487) Bad night (328)

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