Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"

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  (407): I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!" http://tfl.nu/fhku
  Replies (40) Good night (1795) Bad night (6254)
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  (347): View more from New York

  I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant

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  (347): I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant http://tfl.nu/amxy
  Replies (29) Good night (1324) Bad night (5995)
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  (562): View more from California

  youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.

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  (562): youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period. http://tfl.nu/nfk9
  Replies (10) Good night (3129) Bad night (1152)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??

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  (405): This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine?? http://tfl.nu/98s1
  Replies (6) Good night (2453) Bad night (1121)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers

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  (931): I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers http://tfl.nu/gzzm
  Replies (8) Good night (2784) Bad night (1179)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out

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  (757): I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures... (757): I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out http://tfl.nu/xej3
  Replies (6) Good night (2476) Bad night (759)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.

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  (802): I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place. http://tfl.nu/5u6t
  Replies (2) Good night (1128) Bad night (628)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.

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  (678): I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos. http://tfl.nu/fnmm
  Replies (7) Good night (1066) Bad night (563)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI

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  (864): If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI http://tfl.nu/re47
  Replies (1) Good night (869) Bad night (519)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!

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  (705): There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!! http://tfl.nu/7xwk
  Replies (2) Good night (995) Bad night (648)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.

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  (585): I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits. http://tfl.nu/c0pb
  Replies (8) Good night (573) Bad night (886)
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  (315): View more from New York

  He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.

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  (315): He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over. http://tfl.nu/jd2f
  Replies (1) Good night (476) Bad night (790)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...

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  (320): God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier... http://tfl.nu/hw83
  Replies (2) Good night (660) Bad night (307)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays

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  (508): im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays http://tfl.nu/ltrp
  Replies (1) Good night (217) Bad night (194)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen

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  (253): The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen http://tfl.nu/uzjk
  Replies (0) Good night (142) Bad night (507)

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