Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent