this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
