so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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