she was so not down for the gang bang
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
operation have a gay friend backfired
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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