yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
