I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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