Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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