The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
