is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?