I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
