dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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