I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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