I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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