I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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