Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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